I find that, like many people, I allow other people's emotions and actions towards me, cloud my own personal judgements and feelings. I have this tremendous desire to make everyone really really love me. I have this need for acceptance. I want people to think that I am the most beautiful, intelligent, and funny person they know. Is that bad? I don't think that this is necessarily the worst thing; everyone wants to be loved and accepted to some degree but I find that whenever I get the slightest negative vibe from someone, I freak out.
I think I am intuitive to a degree where I can tell if someone has changed their minds about me. I have always been able to sense when a boyfriend was no longer interested at the first sign of an apathetic shrug or indifferent kiss and it drives me absolutely nuts. Rejection and change are the things that shake me to my very core. Now, whenever I sense some kind of change, a change in reaction towards me or anything slight, it unerves me and I start preparing for some kind of impending rejection.
I am so anal retentive about everything. Or maybe I just need to get laid.
4 comments:
getting laid won't help you - i share your thoughts. we should get together so i can pamper you with affection. come over for a movie soon, eh?
getting laid might help you, actually...
but, people can feel that way even when they're getting laid...
true, but in my experience, getting laid makes everything seem better.
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