Been a tad MIA the last couple of weeks so I am not sure where to start. At some point I need to post my political rant blog entry.. but that can wait.
The last few weeks have been interesting in that I feel I have learned a lot of new things; I have learned things about myself, about my life, and about the people in my life.
I think I may have had a bit of an early 20's crisis where I wake up and go "Is this what I want to do with the rest of my life and am I happy right now". Obviously all this starts because of a guy.
Thats so incredibly sad that my soul searching and internal questioning starts because of a guy.
I find that I care way too much what people think. I've been slowly coming to that conclusion ( an obvious one - I know) but it just fucks me up all the time. I don't think that friends, babies, jobs, or anything like that can really make us happy. I know plenty of people with some really really cute babies and awesome husbands that are no where near happy. You can only be truly happy with others if you are happy with yourself. This is why I have come up with a list of things that I would like to accomplish and in no way should be about other people's approval/acceptance/things that would usually make me feel good because it caused an ego boost in some artificial way.
Here are some things I am thinking of:
-Learn how to drive a car
-Take a vacation alone
-Run a marathon (btw - I ran my first 10k 2 weeks ago!!!!)
-Find a cause that I believe in
-Volunteer
-Have sex all day (make an event out of it)
-Start art classes again
And more to come.
And a small little excerpt about the stupidity of last night. It is a very bad idea, after a 12 hour shift at work, to decide to go get drinks with an ex.
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